So, spoiled little me recently took a sanity vacation, solo.
Why? Why the fuck not?!
This year has been awful. From pregnancy to postpartum blues, to my brothers death, to financial issues and down to insane depression. I needed this.
My husband is the most kind and understanding man I have every met. He treats me with with the most amazing respect and I wish I did the same for him. I’ve been such a grump this year to him, I feel awful. I needed this sanity vacation, to find the nice wife he married. I was not her lately.
I took a week to myself for a sanity vacation, to be completely away from my kids and my husband, because I’m selfish, in a sense. It was to recharge myself and my soul. Given I didn’t get to do exactly what I wanted, but not being “mom” 24/7 for almost a full week, was amazing in a way I don’t even know how to explain.
I was able to refocus my thoughts and energy flowing through my brain on more than bottles, stinky butts and nap times. I was able to sleep (which my insomnia said not so much lady) but I didn’t have to be that ALERT all night, while I slept. I was able to brush my teeth TWICE a day! I was able to shower and comb my hair all within the same hour! I enjoyed a cup of coffee while it was still hot. I got to enjoy being outside and look at everything in nature around me. I didn’t have to share my food and I didn’t have to explain to someone why we are eating what we are eating.
I also took this “Sanity Vacation” to grieve my brother. He passed away May 1st. I was 8 months pregnant with Mackenzie. I didn’t have time to grieve. I helped my folks with a funeral for my brother on last minute, I helped them start legal proceedings to protect his son. I just kept going and going and then had my sweet Mack and have held it all in me, emotionally waiting to burst at a single moment of thought, if I actually had a thought of my own. I finally broke, 3 days in, thinking about how we were supposed to raise the kids near each other so they can be close cousins.
While I took this Sanity vacation to make myself whole again, I ended up finding out more about life than I intended. Life is always a teaching moment and we take from that what we can, don’t forget that.
I did fall in love with the state I visited and will share more on the adventures I got to do in another blog post later.
I think we all deserve a sanity vacation. Whether you’re a parent or not, life can be too demanding on us at times. We get so caught up in the everyday life we push emotions aside, we push people aside and we become someone we didn’t want to be or even recognize.
While I missed my babies and my husband and our cozy bed we share, I came back home refreshed. Ready for what is happening next. My soul may not have been realigned like I wanted but my brain has a new look on things.
Don’t forget about yourself in life. Especially if you are the one who is constantly putting others in front.
What do you do for yourself to refresh?
I think small frequent breaks in life are great, weekend trips, week getaways and he’ll even having a bath, alone.