From the heart

Days like today don’t get easier

I got divorced back in 2011, from my oldest daughters dad. That spring it was final and that summer was her first summer apart from me. Days like today have been an every summer thing since 2011 but days like today don’t get easier for me.

I almost think it’s getting harder for me to handle the emotions of her not being there because she is getting older, we have 3 summers left until she is an adult and then what?

I’m so happy she lives at home with me while she attends school, I feel that’s kept her getting great grades and excelling at subjects she thought were difficult in prior years. However I feel like I get the shit end of the stick at times because while she is with me majority of the time, she goes to school all day and on the weekends when she’s home she likes to go do things with her friends and we don’t always get to go have fun. Then on breaks and during the summertime where I feel like we should have all this time together we don’t because we do share time with her dad and he gets the majority of the summer because she lives here with me.

So today, I had to take my 14-year-old to go to her dads for seven weeks. SEVEN WEEKS!

This isn’t just down the road, she is in another town, not like she can come and go between our houses.

We typically do two -3 weeks periods, however this year she was given an extra week since I had an extra few days in December.

This is the longest that my 14-year-old will be away from me, ever, it’s been a pretty emotional day for me Over this. And probably mixed in emotion that she is starting high school in August.

I came home from dropping her off and out of habit I went to her room to make sure nothing was plugged in like oh one chargers or her fan and it just hit me like a bag of bricks with emotions and I got really upset and I was trying to handle it but it has been difficult

Anywho, I’ll stop crying.

I can’t wait to see what she does this summer! I know she has a concert planned with her grandmother to see her current favorite band Queen with Adam Lambert, She also mentioned a possible trip to California and then going to her grandparents in Texas most likely. Sounds like a great summer for her to travel, especially since we don’t get to travel as much since have that third baby lol

I’m excited for her and I can’t wait to get her home in my arms again but thank God for technology so that we can message each other often throughout the day or during the week if she has a busy week or I’m busy I am always try to message her before I go to bed of course just a tolerant love you and I’m thinking of her.

Always thinking of her.

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